DBT Skills

Mindfulness is the act of consciously focusing the mind in the present moment, without judgment and without attachment to the moment. A person who is mindful is aware in and of the present moment. Mindfulness is the opposite of being on
“automatic pilot,” or being lost in habit. As a set of skills, mindfulness practice is the intentional process of observing, describing, and participating in reality nonjudgmentally, in the moment, and with effectiveness (i.e., using skillful means).

Sometimes emotional arousal is so high that you can’t use any skills, particularly if the skills are complicated or take any thought on your part. This is a skills breakdown point. Crisis survival skills are needed. There are many ways to change emotions. It can be helpful to have a list of the important skills to look at when you can’t remember the skills you need to regulate your emotions.

Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you build new relationships, strengthen current ones, and deal with conflict situations. They help you effectively ask for what you want and say no to unwanted requests.

Distress tolerance is the ability to tolerate and survive crises without making things worse. The ability to tolerate and accept distress is essential for two reasons. First, pain and distress are part of life; they cannot be entirely avoided or removed. The inability to accept this immutable fact increases pain and suffering. Second, distress tolerance, at least over the short run, is part of any attempt to change yourself. Otherwise, efforts to escape pain and distress will interfere with your efforts to establish desired changes.

The goal of emotion regulation is to reduce emotional suffering. The goal is not to get rid of emotions; emotions have important functions in our lives. Emotion regulation skills help you to change emotions that you (not other people) want to change, or to reduce the intensity of your emotions. Emotion regulation skills can also reduce your vulnerability to becoming extremely or painfully emotional and increase your emotional resilience. Emotion regulation requires use of mindfulness skills, particularly nonjudgmental observation and description of your own current emotions. You have to know what an emotion is and what it does for you before you can effectively regulate it.

Radical Acceptance is a DBT exercise that can help you deal with intense negative emotions and experiences. You can use it to identify, consider, and understand a situation or emotion you are struggling to accept. The goal is to help you acknowledge that you cannot control every aspect of what you experience. Rather, you can accept this lack of control and choose to respond mindfully instead of reacting emotionally. This acceptance can help you move beyond the distress you experience without trying to change or control the situation.